The weather is changing. Warmer days, rain instead of snow, and birds singing....
And it's been maing me think, and hope, something I've been trying not to do (the hoping, not the thinking...That's what the online games are for.)
Hoping for a new start, a bit of luck, anything....And all I can do is hope, and try to avoid falling into the hole gaping at my feet. Hope brings a sweeter kind of pain. A pain that hurts all the worse the closer you get to that which you hope for. And it can rip you apart, when it is extinguished. I'm trying so hard not to wonder what we'll do if we end up on the streets again, but responsibility dictates that I must, especially in times as dark as this. Homeless shelters are not new to us, but they are not preferable either Being separated because of the ideals of someone else, wondering if what little we have will be stolen from us, being treated as less than equal because we have fallen on hard times....It does something to the soul. It strips away the will to live, the spark that keeps a person afloat.
I won't have it the hardest, unless I can't get hold of yarn. And if push does come to shove, and barring some unforseen malfunction, we'll have our laptop. But i fear that we will get torn apart by the strain. We barely lasted the last time.
For my friends that worry, I'll give an update.
We are staying at a friends house. We have about a week until we have to leave. Josh is still waiting on confirmation of a job, but it's not looking like we will make it in time to have a place to stay. My best laid plans fell through, and the CNA class I was going to take has been delayed until June. Still waiting on friend to get the applications needed to see if I can get paid for taking care of him.
All in all, still alive and breathing, still hanging on, but not hoping for too much.